Inconvenient Truth of the Day

So you know this part in A Christmas Story?

It was always my favorite part. Though I sympathized with the poor kid (his name is not really hitting me at the moment), I thought it was the most hilarious thing.

Well, it turns out a warm surface to ice really does stick to said warm surface, and I had a chance to learn that first hand (literally!) today.

One of the other great benefits to my apartment (I am seriously going to live here for as long as I can in my college career) is that it has an ice maker. The ice maker at my parents' house has long been broken, like three years and counting. 


My brilliant mom came with a genius solution and that is this:

My parents fully have one of these things hanging out in their otherwise darling kitchen. To get perpetually cold water, my mom religiously fills up something like this...

I couldn't find an actual model, but think deeper. Mom, if you are reading this, we better hope your container never gives out! They are impossible to find! 

...and sticks it in the freezer. The result is a large (and free!) ice block. Walaa! Cold water and ice in the orange container. It is great, but an ice maker is even better. 

Anyway, so today, I finished up washing my dishes and then decided I wanted some ice to go with my water and naively stuck my wet hand in the ice maker. The result was three pieces of ice firmly stuck on my hand. And it actually hurts pretty bad to get off. So, lesson learned: wet hands and ice don't really go together. Maybe my mom was on to something with the giant ice block. The end. 

I believe in a thing called love

If there is one thing I like better than a good novel I can lose myself in, it is real life love stories told by the people involved. I don't care if it is in an obituary or a blog post, I love it. I like it better than any fictious story line because it is real. It means it can happen to anyone, this thing called love. Reading those sort of real-life stories help me relax for the future. The best is when I inwardly feel happy about the couple being together. I think that means that they are meant to be together, or are doing great being together. (I am trying to wean myself off the idea of soul mates. I think someone can become your soul mate, but I don't believe you find a soul mate right off the bat in the haystack.)

A very wise friend once told me that you know you ought to marry the person you are dating if they a) make you want to strive to be a better person because you are around him/her and b) being together creates good for all those around you. I feel lucky that I have had friends who have in turn been lucky enough to find their perfect match :) They have been wonderful examples to me in showing me that I should never settle.

One trend I noticed is that neither party expected the timing nor thought they would fall in love with each other. It sorta makes me think that you shouldn't actively pursue love. Like those people (not that they are bad people or anything. Bless their hearts) who go out on blind dates every week desperately trying to find that person before time runs out. What time? I'm not really sure. As far as I'm concerned we are dealing with a whole lotta time in the scope of eternity.

The important thing, I think, is to keep calm and carry on.

(And I promise to tell my love story when it happens, on here :)

The Tale of the Forever Procrastinator

Today I got to class, prepared for once (or so I thought). I read the 20-page chapter the night before, ready to contribute to the discussion. Then my professor started addressing the class. He discussed in great detail the paper due in two days. The longer he talked, the more pressure I felt in my head (despite the fact that I was wearing a headband, I knew it was from stress).

With a sinking heart, I realized my preparedness the night before were for naught. I deeply regretted the episode of Psych as I realized I didn't even have a topic for the thing. My world started getting more distorted as I remembered my other homework (reciteastorystartassignmentforbusinessmanagementstudyfortesttakingmitermreadpearlofgreatpricecatchuponhumanitiesreadingstartstudyguidesculturaleventwriteup) and obligations for the next two days.

"I am doomed," I thought and slumped hopelessly over my pull-out desk.

We started discussing Caravaggio's Doubting Thomas as I started doubting I could do this thing called school.

Parking in South Provo

So if you want to know what parking is like in South Provo, here is a good example: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egsdc7tZ_xc&feature=related 
(Sorry, I wish I could embed it, but YouTube wouldn't let me). 


My apartment has only one parking spot for the three tenants (really, the only downfall to the place). It is a pretty big pain in the butt to say the least. I am currently parked in front of my building, but I had to wake up at 7am for the last two mornings to stake this place out, and there is no way I am moving it now. It kind of reminds me of another Seinfeld episode, that goes like this: 


Jerry: We'll have to take your car, it's got the most room.
Kramer: No, no. My car's not running.
(George comes out from the bathroom)
Jerry: What about your father's car?
George: No, no, no. Out of the question. I was over there today. He's got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood. I know he's not gonna wanna move.
Jerry: Are you serious?
George: You don't know what that spot means to him. Once he gets it, he doesn't go out for weeks.


I always laughed at this, but living in a highly populated neighborhood with too many cars and not enough spaces has taken this conversation to a whole new level for me. In a very George-Costanza-like fashion, I was just trying to convince my sister today to use her car to hold my place while I run a quick errand to Salt Lake tomorrow. Basically this is what it comes down to: I would rather walk around with pepper spray in the dark than take my car out of its spot. 


Anyway, does anyone a) know a place where University Parking Enforcement doesn't have jurisdiction or b)have funny parking stories and/or can validate the Provo situation? 

Day 27 – Your favorite place, in great detail. Destop Mess.

(Disclaimer: So maybe this 30 day meme is taking a year to complete. I would prefer not to commennnnt...)

For the last two years, I have been pretty anal about being clean. My side of the room would always be spotless, I had no tolerance for dirty dishes, and I was so organized with life, I would carefully file my computer documents in folders according to semester, and then subject. It was madness, madness, madness, I say. I am glad to report that I have loosened up a little bit. Here is what my desktop and document folder now looks like:

Documents in disarray, no organization, whatsoever. And for some reason, I haven't the slightest desire to right it. I like, even revel in the mess. Which brings me to my favorite place. Realistically, my favorite place is my room. I like to study here (although how well that turns out is always a surprise). I have nice carpet, it overlooks this pretty courtyard/trees and  as self-conceited as it sounds, I especially like the way it is decorated.

If money were not an issue, Italia would be my choice of residence. Especially Tuscano! (Okay, maybe all that Italian did rub off on me...). I mean, how can you say no to this: 

I mean look at this place: it looks like the place Ariel got dropped off at! 

It has the sea, rolling country side, and most importantly, really great food. Lately I have been a serious connoisseur of food, resulting in many burned fingers and (one) perpetually burned tongue. I have grown quite fond of cheese, and I'm also pretty sure Italia is the place to go for that. Here's to hoping my future husband is rich and willing to take me! :D

Update on life

Hellloooo! 
Just thought I would populate the world with my thoughts and an update on where I am in life. 

• I am definitely on the DIY (do-it-yourself) streak, as noted by this (homemade, I might add!) template. It took me an absurd amount of time that I prefer not to disclose right now. Hopefully this will fade in the next week or two as it has hindered any progress in my considerable homework load.
• I am just as good a procrastinator as I thought I was. 
• I am in my own room here in good ol' P-Town and boy, does it feel good. Do not get me wrong: I have enjoyed living with every one of my bunk mates (for lack of a better word...), but paying for your own room is another animal on its own. No longer am I self-conscious about my morning alarm repeatedly going off, which incidentally, does not go off as many times as it did when I shared a room...
• Said room is in a beautiful condo 10 min. away from campus. I have found that though I live closer to campus, I am walking a lot more to make (unnecessary) trips to and from school.
• I am quite fond of my roommates. We all have an Oriental background, and because of that, we have three rice cookers in the kitchen, but lack a toaster. 
• I love the scriptures. This semester, I am taking two religion classes, one in the Pearl of Great Price, and the other in the New Testament, which means a lot of time is spent in my quad. It is a very satisfactory replacement for a textbook.
• I am looking at a mission in the very near future, and in fact, recently turned in my Papers to the bishop. (I feel the "P" warrants an uppercase with all the work put into them).
• I enjoy cooking and may be spending more time dealing with food than with textbooks... 
• I saw Celine Dion in concert (something off the bucket list)! Sam and I drove down to LV to see her, and it was completely and totally worth  it to pay $100 for the back row (honestly our backs were against the wall). What a show. I would see it again in a heartbeat.
• I caught a cold about a week before school started. How one catches a winter disease in 90 degree weather is beyond me, but I certainly did it. 
• I went to Disneyland this summer with three of the most fun-loving people I could think of. It was so great going 10 years after my last visit. I feel like I was really able to bring out the kid in me (as if it doesn't already make an appearance - HA.) 
• I went rock-climbing on real rocks. I maybe might have almost decapitated someone while attempting to rappel from the five feet I climbed, but I did it. And that is what counts in my book. 
• I saw two touring Broadway plays: Les Miserables and Wicked. They were both fabulous. I actually went to Les Mis on my own (ironically ha), and I learned the value in taking time to go on a date with myself. 
• Other food-related bucket list cross offs: Ate a fried twinkie and cleaned the sink at Angie's, neither of which will I be doing again.
• I climbed the top of Y Mountain. The plan was to see the sunrise, but that didn't work out, partially because of my poor navigational skills. But we got there eventually. 

Basically, I am doing great. Must now attend to some homework that is calling my name. Au revoir! 

I'm still out at lunch...

Last night I wanted to gain insight into my life so I decided to read my journal from the last six months into the wee hours of the night. Incidentally I learned quite a bit: and that is that I do not do well on 4.5 hours of sleep.

Woke up quite suddenly at six a.m. and made the executive decision that I could sleep for a little longer. Doing my hair is overrated anyway. 40 minutes later, I hated late-night-Shelbi just as much as I did before. Committed to going to bed early tonight, although I can almost put money on late-night-Shelbi forgetting all about early-morning-Shelbi by 11pm. 

As I sleepily started pulling on clothes to wear, I looked down and realized my blouse was extremely wrinkled mostly because it spent the last week at the bottom of my duffel bag, having never made an appearance in Las Vegas. On my body, at least.

After a quick ironing job, I decided I also needed to straighten my hair. It wasn't until lunch today that I walked past a mirror and noticed I not only forgot to straighten the back of my head, I failed to iron the left arm of my shirt.

My head felt really heavy today, so in an effort to relieve weight, I cut my hair (pretty sure its the reason I've been on the cusp of falling asleep all day today). Because that seemed like the reasonable thing to do. Luckily I was thinking somewhat clearly and commissioned a professional to cut it.

Later went to make a hair appointment: 

Receptionist: Could I get your first name?

Me: Shelbi. S-h-e-l-b-i

Receptionist: So S-h-e-l-b-e-i

Me: Um, sure. 

Receptionist: Last name?

At this point I am pretty sure I stared blankly at her, not quite comprehending what she was asking. It took another prodding question for me to snap out of it, but we got there eventually. 

The rest of the day went pretty much the same.

Fast forward to the grocery store:
Me: I also need ice...
Cashier: 7 or 20?
Me: (in my head) What is this woman asking me?
Cashier: 7 or 20?
Me: Ounces?
Cashier: Um... pounds.

It kind of felt like a bad Sunshine Math equation.

Day 25 – A first, in great detail

Okay. A first.

This is Carl. I have written about him before.

Carl is my first and current car. We have been through a lot in our four years together. I've cried my heart out in Carl, I've nearly gotten in accidents with Carl, I've been pulled over in Carl, I've been in the scariest situations of my life (the snow) with Carl. Carl has been a good friend. 

Unfortunately, I don't think he would say I have reciprocated. I put a sticker on Carl when I was 16, and although I loved it at the time, I kind of regret sticking it on Carl's derriere. I want to be more hardcore than a flower. Hence this sticker: 

That's right. 

Also. A few months ago, I had this bright (read:stupid) idea to give Carl a touch up job, since he was all scratched up from his previous owners. I guess the picture is self-explanatory enough, but if you're blind, I am a horrible painter. Horrible, horrible. Luckily, my neighbor stopped me before I did more damage, although it's pretty bad. 

The other day, Carl's battery died, ironically in a handicapped parking spot, because I thought I was only going to be there for a minute. Which turned out to be an hour, waiting for AAA (apparently I am bad with directions). It wasn't that big of a deal, but it made me think of how sad I will be when this little car dies for real. 

Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail

Chaffing. 
Oh. My. Gosh. It is the worst thing in the world. I seriously tear up when it happens to me, or when I can feel it starting to get bad. I've recently started training for a race (the length will not be disclosed because I heard once that if you share your goal with too many people, you lose your enthusiasm for the actual goal...And I've actually been doing pretty good training in recent days! PS It's longer than a 5K) so I have experienced my share of chaffing lately. I don't even ride bikes anymore because of my fear of chaffing. It makes me feel really bad for babies with wet diapers because they can't even do anything about it, like change pants or stick vaseline up there or even move for that matter. And probably, it would hurt more than running a few miles.

Plucking. 
I don't know about anybody else but everytime I pluck/wax my eyebrows, my eyes uncontrollably water. It is super embarrassing when I go to a salon and the lady doing the dirty deed can witness it too. I can't control it, and seriously, I can take that kind of pain, easy. Mostly.

Onions. 
These also make me cry. But it is really a painful cry. For the longest time, I didn't believe anyone when they said onions make your cry. I would even chop onions in the wrong direction in an attempt to experience this phenomenon. Except for this one time  when I stupidly cut an onion open and then vigorously started rubbing my eye. In my defense, it was itchy. But also incredibly stupid. I did cry, if you are wondering, and it felt like I was crying acid or something. It hurt.

Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail

Well. I am already in a writing mood, and I tenuously have control of my life at the moment, so I felt like I should take advantage of it and BLOG. Because I will never ever get this meme done, I am sure of it, now.

One thing that really makes my day is when I find money from the winter before in random coat pockets. Sometimes I stick a twenty in there, just so I can make the future me surprised and happy. It didn't happen to me today, but a friend who owed me money gave me some cash and it was pretty much the same thing.

In other news, I really really really do not like the snow. When I grow up, I am going to live somewhere without the snow. Really, I don't think it will negatively impact my life without the white crap on the ground. Probably it'll even help my coordination and lessen the injuries I seem to sustain every winter.

Today as I was walking to class, just as I was starting to enjoy how pretty the snow was on the trees, I was plopped on the head by a mound of snow from the tree I was currently walking under. Scowling upward,  I continued walking only to be met with a face full. Anytime I want to make peace with the stupid stuff it goes and does things like that to me. As I continued onward, I noticed people were walking and just missing the random and unceremonious heaps of snow. But seriously every time I passed under a tree, I got hit. So if you were walking around the JSB/Eyring Center quad area around noon today, and you noticed a girl glaring at the world, that is why.

Also, as if I didn't already have a problem with my balance, my heel decided today would fully be a good day to test me and broke. Okay, it might have been my fault, since I was the one who as trying to rock and balance on my heels while talking to a receptionist at my office. But still. I ended up walking lopsidly to the costume shop for some super glue assistance, only to be disappointed by the stuff for the first time in my life. I was shocked because I have definitely glued my fingers together, my arm to the table, gross (and seemingly real foliage) diorama scenery to my hands, etc.etc.

When I walked home from school today, I had buttoned my ipod headphones in my pants on accident after an unfortunately timed bathroom visit (more on that in a second). Combined with me walking rather unbalanced, I probably didn't look like a stable person. Oh well. It's kind of just one of those days.

I recently invested in this :

 I have only been the owner of this lovely water bottle for less than 24 hours (ironically was purchased at 24 Hour Fitness hahahah), and I am pretty sure it's  the best investment I have ever made. Although I have consistently had to visit Mrs. Murphy every hour, on the hour, I feel like it is far better to die from over-waterage than dehydration. The only bad thing is that it is virtually impossible to suck this baby up when one is running. I would compare it to a particularly stubborn loogie/snot that won't come out from the back of your throat.

Do you ever have one of those days where you realize just how far behind you are in life? It is not a good feeling, if you're curious.

Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail

Getting a bad grade on a test.

All my life I have always identified myself as "smart." The very first time I walked out of the Testing Center, I got a horrific grade on my American Heritage class and I was seriously considering throwing myself in front of a bus. Most impactfully, my identification as an intelligent person went down the toliet.

I really hate it when I do horrible on tests these days because I am not currently taking any GEs this semester, and I don't have a valid excuse. I normally do well. But, well, not on a test I recently got back.

"To be mediocre, when only application and diligence would have netted superiority, is an error akin to sin." -Spencer W. Kimball

Day 21 – A moment, in great detail

As I was getting comfortable on the couch, I noticed a ton of crusty crap on the back thigh of my pajamas. The worst part is that it doesn't even smell familiar. I guess it doesn't really matter since no one really sees the back of  my PJs anyway, but I'm still semi-grossed out. I have no idea where I've been sitting.

Okay, my moment.

So the other day, I had to change my civilian shirt to my student council shirt, because It Is Required for class. Since I am pretty good at finding secluded bathrooms (I have a problem doing my business when other people can witness it. More about that later) I figured I would be okay to change in the area immediately outside of the stalls, but still within the realms of the bathroom. As I was changing, the thought that randomly appeared in my head was that I wouldn't even be surprised if someone walked through the door I was facing. And sure enough, some lady, probably a professor, did.

Another weird moment.

As I was slicing up a delicious pineapple from more than a week ago, tonight, the only thing I could think about was the Spongebob Squarepants theme song.

The Bathroom Thing

I'm sorry I keep fixating on this. I feel like it is going to come back and haunt me. So I have this thing. And probably I'm the only one, but I get extreme stage fright whenever I have to do my business in a public restroom. I hold it at all costs. It got so bad when I was a freshmen, that I would wait until the entire apartment was either vacated or unconscious to do my thing. Anyway. I prefer empty many-stalled bathrooms, if I am about to explode. I can't handle the one-sie bathroom. Going in, they and I would know what I did in there, and it's horrible. I can't even bear to make eye contact. Bottom line: I am an expert at knowing when and where the empty bathrooms are on campus.

Day 20 – This month, in great detail

This month has been insane, just like I knew it would be. I am enrolled in three communications classes, including  a media lab. Even though I can handle the subject material like nobody's business, I was not prepared for the... public relations aspect. I discovered on my first day of the semester (circa Jan 3) that I was expected to be on time, if not early, to class and exact about my deadlines, because that is how the  industry goes (the boldness is an exact quote). All my life, I have been very good at that, so I figured I would be fine.

Not so.

Somewhere between second grade and now, I have become quite lazy and not as detail oriented as I used to be. I am lucky these days to make it to class on time, and sometimes I just flat out forget that I need to turn my paper in online in addition to a paper copy in class. I have missed far too many iclicker (attendance) quizzes, and I am sorely behind in my reading. I guess I could blame it on my age and its inevitable mind fogginess. But. I am only twenty, so I'm not real sure that excuse would float.

Anyway. Point is. My moleskine is now officially attached to my hip. I would write more, but, well, I am about  to be late for another class. Til next time.

UPDATE - Note, this is slightly off color
Also, as a preface, this experience is pretty much the story of my life. I have another story to share in the next post to demonstrate. While it was happening, it didn't even surprise me, because This Is Just What Happens To Me.

After my lesson in Friday, I decided to take a shower today, even though I would be pushing it. After quickly relieving myself I jumped into the shower (Can I just say I hate hard-boiled eggs? Not only do I hate the taste, but my body does everything it can to get  it out of my system as fast as possible. You  may wonder why I ate the thing in the first place. And frankly, I don't really  know). After a respectable amount of time, I turned off the water, but I was confused why I could still hear the sound of a steady flow of water. In horror, I realized the toliet was overflowing at an alarming rate. Naked and frantic, I tried to turn the emergency knob to stop the flow, but it was jammed (STUPID OLD APARTMENT THAT IS OLD. AND BREAKING. AND RUSTING). I was freaking out so much I couldn't even decide which article of clothing to put on first, and to make matters worse, my window blinds were open, so probably, someone even witnessed this blessed event.

As I stood helplessly by, the water flowed into the vanity area, and was nearing the carpet. I jammed some mismatched clothing on and called the complex office, like a near death victim dialing 911. They quickly dispatched a man with technical abilities and he calmly walked in and lifted the toliet cover where he proceeded to stick his hand in the disgustingly rusted...insides. He assured me all was well and left me practically ankle-deep in the mess. So roommates, if you are reading this, this is why there are like five towels dripping wet and hanging in the shower. I will wash them for you.

Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail

So... I am not sure how many of  you know this, but I used to play the flute rather well. I won a few competitions and I had the potential to be really good if I had practiced more. My mom even bought me a really nice flute. Except I quit when I got to high school so I could more fully explore the world of debate.

I used to think I regretted quitting, but now that I think about it, I do not think I would be the person I am today, if it weren't for debate. I wouldn't be so comfortable speaking to groups of people (essential for my future profession), and I definitely would not be as confident in myself. I wouldn't have even considered public relations and business if it weren't for debate. I kinda wish I had stuck with piano a little longer, but really, I don't think I have any real regrets. Everything that has happened in my life has changed me for the better. I really hope I can say that at the end of my life.

In other news, I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad hair day yesterday. And I didn't realize it until 5:30 pm. Basically, I got up super late and had approximately five minutes to get ready and out the door. Shower was out of the question, so I shoved a hat on my barely brushed hair, threw on the nearest articles of clothing that vaguely resembled business casual, stumbled into some slipper shoes (my knees are really taking a toll with the high heel every day policy. I really gotta buy some flats), and ran out the door. When I got to work, my sweater was inside out, and I looked like a hot mess. I kind of forgot about it, because I figured there wasn't much I could do about it, since I was at school all day.

But lemme tell you, when I got home from work and school, I about died when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. About ten various tolietries fell off the vanity when I realized in horror I had been walking around with this ginormous bird's nest on the back of my head. Moral of the story: it is always better to take the time to get ready.

Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail

Oh man. I am quickly tiring of this 30 day meme. It has turned into a three month old menace that will never go away, but nonetheless I am determined to FINISH. You hear that meme? I am going to finish you. For my invisible audience out there, I will try to make this as interesting as possible.

My favorite birthday probably has to be my 16th birthday. I'm not sure if it was a sweet 16 or not (what is the definition of that, anyway? I'm still pretty unclear on that...), but it was certainly a good birthday. I went to La Caille with my parents, this high end French restaurant in Sandy, Utah. Recently the co-owners killed themselves over some financial thing. (Sadly I am a little too aware of my surroundings these days. In addition to the four newspapers I read daily at work, I now have to add the New York Times for a class to my repertoire. As if I wasn't enough of a walking encyclopedia...). I remember the butter was shaved in a rose shape. It was amazing. The food was delicious and I forever fell in love with French Onion Soup.

Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail

Appropriately enough (it's the first day of a new semester), my favorite memory probably has to be the first day of second grade. I love school and I love learning, even now. I think second grade was so exciting to me because for the first time in my life, I was learning something I didn't already know. I was at a new school that year because my mom had decided to put me in the accelerated learning program (ALP) and pull me out of the neighborhood school.

I didn't really know anyone at school, but it still has always stuck out in my mind. I think it was the smell of a fresh start, and more importantly, the scent of new school supplies. I don't remember what happened this day, but I do remember having my very own metal desk to put said school supplies in. The chairs were old, but sturdy. I was wearing my favorite vest my mom had made for me. And the curriculum overview really excited me.

My teacher was Mrs. Lane. She was a jovial, pleasantly plump lady who was also allegedly allergic to the sun. On the days she was in charge of monitoring recess, she walked around underneath a colorful and large umbrella. I loved her because of her interesting hands-on teaching method and structure. To this day, I am all about structure. Every day, we would go over the day's agenda, which I reveled in. I can't really explain it, but  there is something reassuring and comforting to have a plan for the day.

I should probably have a plan for today.

Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail

Wouldn't you like to know.
In random conversation one day, a friend mentioned something I had written in my blog, and it kinda freaked me out because it means people read this, despite the lack of comments. So yeah. Definitely not kissing and telling on this one.

In other news, Happy New Year! I wish I had a more exciting decade, but alas, I have just emerged from my teens with no real valuable insights on life. Except that it is very important to step heel first when walking around in wintry conditions. Observe:

Yep. That's an arm brace. I sprained my wrist. Tripping.

This year, I have only one resolution in the hopes of actually achieving it beyond Feb 1. I am going to learn how to say No this year. And I don't mean to drugs. I have this tendency to commit to more than I am able to do, thus disappointing myself and others. It helps that it is also on the bucket list. I always try and justify in my mind that I am doing things to be nice, but at the point where it gets to be a burden, I think I miss the point of service.

What are your resolutions?